Mistakes I Made When Planning For My Wedding in Manila

It’s common to find blog posts that feature wedding photos that look so perfect as if the everything went by very smoothly that day. But whenever I look at my wedding photos, I can’t help but think of the moments I wish didn’t happen. And the mistakes I wish I didn’t make. 

In this post I want to share some of the mistakes I made when planning for my wedding in Manila. In doing so, I hope to help couples avoid the same mistakes. And for the couples who have been though some hurdles on their own wedding, I’d like you to know that it’s okay not to have the perfect wedding.

Wedding mistakes happen. What matters more is what happens to your life after the wedding.

Mistake # 1 Being Undecided About the Theme of the Wedding

Wedding themes are important because it represents you and your partner’s personality. And because I wanted to be so unique, I couldn’t stick to only one wedding theme.
My husband and I travel a lot and we both love jazz. But I really didn’t want to stick to a “jazz theme” because I thought that it might be too cheezy. I also didn’t want to stick to a “traveling theme” because I thought it’s not unique anymore. 

That “undecidedness” of mine reflects until now in my married life.

I remember meeting my wedding coordinator a week or two before the wedding. She asked me what theme I wanted so that her team could put more customized decor at the reception hall. She said she felt that the theme that I wanted was related to traveling. I said “not really,” but went on to describe how I wanted each table at the reception to contain placards that show the countries my husband and I have been to. And so my wedding coordinator said “that IS a traveling theme,” in a slightly confused (and condescending) voice.

I felt really embarrassed for being so undecided. I also felt so stupid for not knowing what I wanted for my own wedding.

But what’s the solution to this? Just bite the bullet and stick to it.

If you can’t decide what you want, go to Pinterest and “pin” photos of specific images you find beautiful. You’ll find that you’re sticking to a certain kind of pattern. For example, you might be pinning mostly light-colored tones vs dark- colored ones; or you might be pinning mostly travel-themed images than rustic ones. 

You can also take tests online that can help you determine what wedding theme you want. 

Mistake # 2 Not specifying details to the photographers

While I love most of the actual photos taken on our wedding day, I regret not being able to specify details of which shots I’d like them to take.

The company I found was Honeycomb Photocinema. The package we selected was a bit on the above-average side of the pricing plans of most wedding photography companies in Manila. I liked their portfolio and without looking into reviews, went right ahead and booked them. 

I really loved most of the photos they took. But the biggest problem I had was that they barely took photos of my family on my wedding day. They took way more photos of me, my husband, and my husband’s family – but not my family.

On my wedding day, a team of about eight or nine people came from the Honeycomb Photocinema. Some of them were in charge of editing and some of them were in charge of taking photos. Some were in charge of recording videos, and maybe others were in charge of lights and coordination. Most of them just stayed in the suite where I was doing my hair and makeup. No one from the group reminded me that we can use other facilities of the hotel to do the photoshoot. They also took too many photos of me, and too few photos of my family.

I am shy and introverted. So aside from being mentally occupied on my wedding day, I was not able to ask the photography team to take more photos of my guests, friends, and family.

The lesson I learned here is that: before booking any company, meet with the photographer in advance. Talk to that person and make sure to set standards. Tell them what kind of photos you want, where, who the important people are, and so on. Make sure they understand what you want. Because ultimately, you are paying them to record memories you’ll look back at again and again. 

Mistake # 3 Limited my budget on everything

In 2018, the year we decided to get married, my husband and I have only been working in Japan for a year and a half. We both had scholarships during our graduate studies so we also had some savings.

The thing is my husband’s perspective back then was to spend as little money as we could for the wedding. To him, it’s more important to use our savings for things that will or might happen after the wedding. Things like, a house, our future, or for emergencies.

His logic made a lot of sense to me. And even though our perspectives were aligned, I regret limiting our budget way too much on everything.

Practicality vs Deprivation

We were lucky that my parents sponsored most of the expenses of our wedding. They said it was their gift to us. With that in my mind, every time my wedding coordinator proposed something for our wedding, I rejected most of them to minimize the expenses. My mom and I had countless of arguments because I kept trying to reduce the costs which kept her thinking that I’m shortchanging myself.

In Manila, it’s common to find Chinese-Filipino wedding receptions having extravagant decor.

It would’ve been okay to take the ceiling decors out. The reception would have still looked amazing.

But the lesson here is about knowing who you are and explaining that to the people who are planning the wedding with you. My parents know me as someone who has expensive taste. So my mom kept thinking that I was saying no even if I wanted it. So she kept approving things I didn’t approve – i.e. ceiling decor.

I’m very grateful to my parents. But I think it would’ve cut some expenses if only I communicated well that my perspective in life has changed and that I value practicality more than anything else.

Professional Makeup Artist vs Average

Another mistake was not booking a more professional makeup artist. I didn’t want to book an expensive makeup artist because I thought that makeup would only last for eight hours.

Let’s say a bridal makeup package costs 20,000php (approximately 350usd). My thinking was that I’d rather spend that money on things that I could use over and over again. My bridal makeup will stay on for only eight hours.

In the end, I didn’t like my makeup because it didn’t look natural. 

But do you know why it matters to consider how professional your makeup artist is? And why reviews matter? It’s because some makeup artists won’t charge you a lot, but they won’t be as detail-oriented as the others. Some makeup artist who charge less money might not be as hygienic as the professional ones.

Professional makeup artists that charge a lot of money have no excuse for almost anything. They have no excuse to mess up anything.

Expectation vs Reality: Wedding Cake

Yet another one of my biggest regrets was not agreeing to spend more money on customizing the cake. The cake was part of the package the hotel offered us. So technically it was for free but they were asking for additional fees to customize the cake if I didn’t choose it from their templates. Here are the results: 

On the left, you’ll find the sample photo of a cake that I sent to the hotel and requested them to copy. They agreed to do this but said the metallic colors would cost more. Again, thinking that cakes are meant to be eaten and not meant to be displayed for years, I decided not to let them add any extra costs to the final bill. And as a result, I got the mediocre pink cake on the right side. 

What I learned here is that, if you don’t want any eye-sore decor on your wedding day – make sure to be as detail oriented as possible. Be persistent in asking questions to the providers and suppliers of your wedding items. No matter affordable they charged you with something, make sure they can deliver something you want. If not, be ready to look for another service that can do it.

Ask your friends or relatives for recommendations. Look for reviews. Research, research, research.

Mistake # 4 Being Unprepared for a Wedding Speech

When I met up with my wedding coordinator and the wedding ceremony host, making speeches was not part of the scope of the event. However, on the hour of the event, the host decided that both my husband and I say something in front of our guests. I was not prepared for it. 

I don’t remember what I said at that time but I’m sure it was nothing touching or worth-remembering. But why do you need to prepare a wedding speech? Well, it’s always good to thank the people who helped you make the event possible. 

I think thanking my family is something I missed to do on my speech. I really regret not being able to thank my parents for all the hard work they’ve done to raise me up, and to help me become who I am today.

Mistake # 5  Not showing enough childhood to adulthood memories I shared with my family

I don’t like dramas and I’d rather look forward than look back. But I realized that in a wedding ceremony, it’s good to look back and remember the good memories you shared with the people you love. 

I procrastinated in preparing for my wedding. I wasn’t detail-oriented and perfectionist enough to know that every single detail I wanted to happen will happen. So even though I planned to make a travel video of my family and I traveling, I wasn’t able to make it. 

My husband, being the responsible individual that he is since I met him, was able to make three videos. There were two traveling videos of him, his family, and me. And one traveling video of him and his closest friends in Japan.

Every family isn’t perfect. But it’s important to look back at the good times. Its also important to be grateful for the good moments you shared with your loved ones. Trust me, it feels good. Nothing lasts forever so show love and appreciation while you can. 

Conclusion

Things are not what they seem. The photos I shared looked perfect, but a lot has happened behind-the-scenes. There were a lot of dramas, misunderstandings, and immature mindsets and behavior. 

I would like to consider these mistakes as a way of reflection. You need to reflect in order to grow. Growing takes time. Just make sure it won’t take too long.